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Ball Don't Lie

New York Knicks owner James Dolan is looking for an executive assistant

Eric Freeman
Ball Don't Lie

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James Dolan performs a new song, "Melo's Chocolate Milk Blues" (Eddie Malluk/ Getty).

There are very few people around the NBA who think particularly highly of James Dolan, owner of the New York Knicks. Over the last decade and change, Dolan has overseen one of the worst periods in the history of one of the league's marquee franchises. The problem hasn't just been that the Knicks don't win many games — it's that they've made countless questionable decisions (both ethically and otherwise) and effectively become the basketball version of a supermarket tabloid. The issues are largely cultural, and that starts with Dolan.

Nevertheless, there is a bit of a job crisis in the United States of America, and sometimes people have to work for less-than-ideal employers. That's why anyone currently looking for work should strongly consider the opening at Cablevision for "Executive & Personal Assistant to President & CEO," which would involve working directly under Dolan.

Sadly, the job posting at CareerBuilder.com has expired, perhaps because it received attention outside of the industry or was already filled. Luckily for us, Sean Newell of Deadspin was able to pass on a few of the job requirements, along with some handy links to related moments in recent Knicks history:

I imagine that many of our readers are qualified applicants, though there are a few skills and requirements not listed on the official job description. For instance, are you willing to tolerate terrible white-guy blues? Because, if you're not, you will be miserable at the end of every day.

Good luck with your applications, and don't be alarmed if their first offer seems like a gross overpayment. I hear that Isiah Thomas negotiates the company's contracts.

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