In February 2012, Michael Jordan put his 56,000 square-foot Chicago-area mansion (and its 7.39-acre property) on the market for the low, low price of $29 million. After more than a year without a suitable offer, that price was dropped by $8 million in July. Apparently not happy with their progress towards a deal, MJ and his representatives decided in mid-October to put the house up for auction. On Nov. 22, the property will go to the highest bidder.
Since it was first placed on the market, we've seen stills and heard details of the mansion's unreal specifications. Apparently not content to rest on a set of impressive facts, the people at Concierge Auctions decided to produce a nearly nine-minute video tour to give potential bidders and curious onlookers a sense of what it's like to live at Jordan's compound.
You will not be shocked to learn that it looks very nice. From the full NBA-specified basketball court to the PGA-grade putting green, this home clearly appeals to someone who desires the best in all forms of life. The layout of rooms and wings — yes, this home has several different wings — suggest an eye for functional design. Simply put, it seems like living here would be a lot of fun.
Yet there's also a fair amount of the ridiculous. For instance, what is the purpose of creating a dining room table based on the grid of the city of Baghdad? Or, for that matter, why did His Airness require the doors of the original Playboy Mansion in Chicago? How did Jordan manage to blend the luxurious and the tacky to this extent?
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The video's answer, apparently, is simply that we should accept the fact that the man's home reflects the athlete's on-court greatness. The basketball court isn't only great because it's big, but because playing on it reminds us of the immense training that went into the many accomplishments of Jordan's career. When former teammate and current Bulls assistant general manager Randy Brown speaks of training at the home as part of the famed "Breakfast Club" training group, we're supposed to assume that we can also reach those heights as we eat in the area adjacent to the court (presumably with our own private chef, as well). There's even some suggestion that spending time in the room that was once used for weight training — somewhat hilariously converted into a card room and cigar lounge (complete with air filtration system) after retirement — will allow the future owner to work on chasing his own dreams. (It should be glaringly obvious that all involved parties are trying to hook a male buyer.)
I have never attempted to sell a house, so I can only assume that these tactics work. Something tells me, though, that owning Michael Jordan's mansion will not magically turn anyone into a professional-quality outside shooter. Greatness doesn't rub off quite so easily.
Having the foresight (or lack thereof) to draft Adam Morrison with the third overall pick is another story. I'm pretty sure the mansion's next owner could have done that.
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- Michael Jordan