Seriously? This is all we had to do to put a cork in the nigh-on-insufferable Carmelo Anthony(notes) saga, however briefly? Just sit him on a bench next to Kobe Bryant(notes), drape Craig Sager head-to-toe in some type of fine Nepalese paper and introduce a microphone into the mix?
See, this is the kind of thing you need to tell me, Internet. If I'd have known it would be that easy to shut down the 'Melo talk, I would have snuck into a production meeting for "The Black Mamba" using my remarkably believable Danny Trejo disguise, won Kobe's confidence/strong-armed him using a machete, and gotten this thing done months ago.
Forget about 37 points and 14 rebounds. Offering a moment's peace from the "will he? won't he?" alone made Kobe more than deserving of the All-Star game's MVP.
Also, way to go, Chris Paul(notes). "He's going back to Syracuse, he's got three years of eligibility left" was a pretty good line in that situation. Perhaps while in Hollywood, you could pitch some monologue jokes to George Lopez. I know, I know — it's midnight on TBS. But hey, every comedy career has to start somewhere.