Video: Karl Malone quotes 'Internet' to sell cars

Kelly Dwyer

I own a Toyota, and while I respect it, I don't really like it. I imagine most Toyota owners feel the same way. Jeremy Clarkson is right, regarding the brand -- it is like driving a nice, white, washing machine. And it's my fault, too, because I became a car dork (I didn't even have a license when we bought it new about three years ago) a little after we bought the boring little trekker.

None of the previous paragraph, I suspect, will make it into any online testimonials about how great Toyotas are. But even if Honda decides to quote Internet scribes anonymously, I would hope they would do a bit better than:

"Jeremy Clarkson is right, regarding the brand. It is like driving a nice, white, washing machine." -- Yahoo!

Because that's what Karl Malone's Toyota dealership has done:

Listen, maybe the website in question does actually spend its days making banal statements about boring cars. I don't know. I've never visited the site. Ever. Ever, ever, ever.

But Malone has missed out on a golden opportunity. Because I would totally get behind any car or truck that he promoted, provided the lauding quotes featured Karl's own musings. Perhaps, something about listening to George Jones polishing his Curt Gowdy-autographed rifle while eating a chicken-baby and bacon biscuit sandwich while getting 34 miles per gallon on the highway. Something like that.

Thanks to Ethan from NESW Sports for finding this beauty.