On Thursday, the NBA announced the participants in the Sprint NBA All-Star Celebrity Game, which is that contest on Friday night that absolutely nobody watches because it’s one of two days in the regular season that we get to take a break from NBA basketball. It’s typically a borderline unwatchable affair filled with bad jokes and bad basketball, even though this year’s roster is rife with unintentional comedy potential. I mean, look at this lineup:
[…] the celebrity rosters will include actor Kevin Hart, rapper Common, R&B singer Ne-Yo, actor Nick Cannon; actor Josh Hutcherson; and ESPN radio host Ryen Russillo.
I’ve heard of some of those people, I used to listen to one of those people back when he did podcasts, Nick Cannon is hilarious, and Dikembe Mutombo is Dikembe Mutombo.
Usain Bolt is also on the roster. The Jamaican sprinter and six-time gold medalist would seem to be a fascinating and compelling watch, something we were denied in 1984 when the Chicago Bulls drafted but did not sign the legendary runner Carl Lewis. The world’s fastest human playing a sport predicated on speed and athleticism. Dribbling around Ne-Yo, even.
And then, early on Friday, The Basketball Jones’ Trey Kerby had to go and ruin the whole image for us. Watch Usain Bolt stink up the court shooting around after a German playoff game in 2012. Watch:
That was a year ago. Hopefully he’s learned how to not shoot three-pointers toward the top of the glass and miss dunks by now.
In case you were wondering, Usain Bolt is also not a very good driver. From BBC’s Top Gear:
And here’s a shot of Usain Bolt with the 2008 Boston Celtics.
Game’s in a week, Usain, please practice. And put on some pants, Kendrick Perkins.
More sports news from the Yahoo! Sports Minute:
Other popular content on Yahoo! Sports:
• Stan Van Gundy still doesn't think John Wall's a franchise player
• Can the Dodgers buy their way to a championship?
• Athletes to watch at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi