Good news, Everyone Who Was Bummed Out That Pierre the Pelican is No Longer Horrifying: King Cake Baby is back!
That's right. With Mardi Gras coming up next Tuesday and New Orleans' Carnival season upon us, during Monday night's loss to the visiting Los Angeles Clippers, the New Orleans Pelicans brought back the three seasonal mascots that the former Hornets introduced to celebrate the festivities — the King, the Jester and good ol' King Cake Baby, a gigantic personification of the plastic baby often hidden inside the seasonal treat said to represent Baby Jesus. There doesn't seem to be very much Christ-like about this massive terror-inducing infant, though:
BREAKING: Tonight. Mardi Gras night @ Pelicans. This -> pic.twitter.com/8Y5R5OugjL— WWL-TV Sports (@wwltvsports) February 25, 2014
I think "It" is staring at me.... pic.twitter.com/GPloFf4t4e— WWL-TV Sports (@wwltvsports) February 25, 2014
Everything about King Cake Baby — the always-watching eyes, the airbrushed bib, the scooter-enabled mobility and perhaps most especially the evidently-ready-to-come-off-at-a-moment's-notice diaper — is deeply, deeply unsettling. It boggles the mind that the Hornets/Pelicans would create mascots as disturbing as King Cake Baby and Pierre by sheer happenstance, which leads me to believe that the New Orleans professional basketball franchise is doing its level best to increase its market share in the one area no other team — well, except for the Heat and Thunder when LeBron and Durant are cooking, I guess — can really occupy.
The Pelicans aim to become the No. 1 team in your nightmarescape, America. Move over, Freddy Krueger. King Cake Baby's hungry.
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