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Ball Don't Lie

Something’s missing from the Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen NBA champion bobblehead

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

Right after the Miami Heat finished off a 95-88 win over the San Antonio Spurs in an epic Game 7 of the 2013 NBA Finals to earn their second consecutive NBA championship, the league's online store put up a cache of title-themed items that eager Heat fans/commemorative lovers could eagerly purchase as they basked in the afterglow of going back-to-back. There's lots of standard fare — pennants, rally towels, magnets, decals and the like — but the real prizes are the collectible bobbleheads depicting members of the Heat cradling the Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy in their arms.

Now, it's well established that bobbleheads don't always look much like the people they're intended to resemble. But while I think the bobblehead version of reserve center Chris Andersen could be worse from a hair (the Mohawk's wrong, but at least it's pointy) and facial features perspective, I can't help but feel like there's something kind of important missing here:

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Hmmm. Something's off. (Image via store.NBA.com)

Oh, yeah, that's right — THE TATTOOS!

How can you have a collectible figure purporting to be made in the likeness of the one, the only, the ink-stained wretch that is "The Birdman," and have him appear completely devoid of body art? It just feels wrong, guys. I mean, not "Hey, one good idea I had is for you to tattoo the words 'FREE BIRD' on my throat" wrong, but pretty wrong nonetheless.

You want my $29.95 plus shipping and handling, NBA Store? Put together a version that's at least as accurate as these children, and then we can talk. (And adding the championship shades would be a nice touch, too.)

Here's a picture that you can work from:

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Andersen posed with the trophy on Thursday night. (Getty)

Hat-tips to Adam Reisinger and CBSSports.com's Zach Harper.

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