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Kelly Dwyer

Shaq misses practice, narrowly avoids a spanking from coach

Kelly Dwyer
Ball Don't Lie

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Boston Celtic Shaquille O'Neal(notes) missed practice Monday, mixing up his times as the C's returned from a two-day break handed down by coach Doc Rivers. And because O'Neal (the NBA's longest-tenured player) doesn't exactly have a history of blowing off practice, Rivers decided to blow off a punishment of sorts. From AP:

"Today, we only had 11 guys," Rivers said. "It hurts your practice because that means most of your guys are on the floor for the entire practice. That's not the way to go. He got times mixed up, he missed one, he owes us one. We're good."

O'Neal doesn't know how close he was to not being "good," though. And the same goes for Rivers, while we're at it. Back to the coach:

"I was going to spank him," Rivers joked when asked if he would punish the 7-foot-1, 325-pound O'Neal. "He may not hurt. It may hurt me."

Yeah, it probably would. And it definitely reminds us of an old "Saturday Night Live" sketch (and calling this "old" makes me feel old, because I watched this in college) of Tracy Morgan doling out a form of punishment to O'Neal's backside. It's PG-13, but well worth the giggles:

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