The only thing worse than watching your favorite basketball players get beat by 18 at home, watching their league-best defense give up 114 points (including 70 in the first half) and watching them give up home-court advantage seemingly just as quickly as they took it is doing it while wearing a team-colored Spider-Man suit.
Even on a rare night off to take in an Indiana Pacers-Miami Heat playoff game, our friendly neighborhood webslinger can't seem to steer clear of the Sinister Six (which I think we can fairly call the Heat starting five and persistent bench game-changer Chris "Birdman" Andersen) or Mysterio (Shane Battier, duh). And this moment, captured by TNT's cameras in the final minute of the Game 3 blowout, was very Dr. Awk-topus.
Hang in there, Spidey. Look on the bright side: At least you didn't get your pocket picked by a little kid, like the "real" Spider-Man.
Also: "My Spider-sense is struggling" and "With great power comes great text messages from everybody you've ever met after they've seen you in a yellow-and-blue Spider-Man costume on a nationally televised playoff game."
UPDATE! We now know Sad Pacers Spider-Man's secret identity:
Hey @yourmandevine that's me in the spider suit! The less sad part is that Roy Hibbert buys my season tix in Area55.
— Ben Vondo (@BenVondo) May 27, 2013
That's great, Ben! "Area 55," in case you're unfamiliar, is a section at Bankers Life Fieldhouse "filled with 55 wild and crazy Pacers fans selected by Roy Hibbert himself" after the Indiana Pacers center (who wears number 55 for Indiana) reviews fans' "audition" submissions. Not only do the "wild and crazy" winners get free season tickets from the maxed-out mammoth, but they also get the chance to do other fun Pacers-related stuff, like play Laser Tag or dodgeball with big Roy and his pals, or participate in flash mobs at local malls. It's a sweet deal.
Sure, some more traditional superheroes might argue that Ben's being a bit reckless with his identity by unmasking in front of the whole Fieldhouse (and, by extension, national television audience). But the hero game's changed, and Ben's clearly quite proud of being part of the Area 55 crew. Way to go, Ben. Here's hoping Game 4 gives you more opportunities to be Glad Pacers Spider-Man.
Screencap via Deadspin's Timothy Burke.