President Barack Obama is running for re-election in November, and that means he's got to raise money for all sorts of things — buttons with his face on them, signs with his face on them, those adorable little square hats that monorail salesmen used to wear with his face on them, etc. That means traveling around the country to attend fundraising events, and such fundraisers mean increased emphasis on the lifeblood of the American political system: pandering.
Hardly anything says "four more years" like pure, unabashed paeans to points of municipal pride. Like, for example, Local Sports Team! Say, Miami, you have one of those, don't you? And it recently met with great success, yes? Splendid!
The prez shouted out the newly minted world champion Miami Heat during a campaign speech at the Fillmore Miami Beach at Jackie Gleason Theater on Tuesday evening. But as you can see in this clip, he didn't quite stick the landing:
Yep, you heard that right. "Finally, it would be incomplete if I did not congratulate the city of Miami for having the world champion Miami Heats here in town," Obama said. "You guys earned it."
Unfortunately, this clip doesn't include the leader of the free world's subsequent expression of sympathy for fans of the Oklahoma City Thunders, who fell to the Heats in the thrilling five-game NBA Finalses, or his reiteration of lifelong support for the injury-depleted, gone-too-soon Chicago Bullses.
(Not the best couple of sports-related days for good ol' No. 44.)
After the speech, the eagle-eyed Geneva Sands of TheHill.com noted that the official White House transcript of Obama's remarks "was sans 'S,'" suggesting that Obama simply called them "the Miami Heat," which definitely makes this the most serious cover-up ever perpetrated by a sitting American president.
Asked for comment on Obama's unforgivable flub, Republican challenger Mitt Romney was unable to stop gushing about Rajon Rondo's unmatched talent for ball-fakes, which means this presumptive GOP candidate worth an estimated $250 million is just like the rest of us!
Shortly after congratulating Miami's professional basketball franchise, Obama turned attention to a longtime Heat star who was pretty sad a couple weeks back, but is all smiles now.
"And since one of my favorite people is Alonzo Mourning, who's here, and [his wife] Tracy Mourning, I just want to give them a special shoutout," Obama said. "Alonzo looks like he can still play. Hasn't aged a bit. Unbelievable. I'm gettin' all gray, and he just looks the same.
"Except he doesn't have that flat-top," the president added with a laugh.
Long story short: Allow me to introduce you to the new U.S. ambassador to France, Heat rookie Norris Cole.
For more local-sports-team-themed riffgoofs, please visit Vanity Fair's VF Daily blog, which you were obviously already going to do, as everyone knows it is a one-stop shop for all things Sports Humour.
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