(Also, Ronny Turiaf's BlockHand is a pretty great name for a band that's destined to play three basement shows then break up after their first VFW Hall gig, citing "creative differences," which really means "Jamie learns that the girl he likes actually thinks Kyle's kinda cute." Accept it with my compliments and run with it, faux-rebellious, fuzz-loving suburban youth.)
But despite posting a pair of rejections, Turiaf had a rough night in the paint from a highlight perspective, getting victimized by Nuggets big men Shelden "Seriously, Call Me 'The Landlord'" Williams in the first quarter and Nene "Seriously, Don't Call Me Maybyner, or Even Use My Last Name, Because Brazil" Hilario in the third quarter.
There's really not much Turiaf can do there because of how poorly two of his teammates play the Nuggets' pick and roll (and of course they do, because they're the Knicks and what is this "defense" you guys keep talking about?).
Raymond Felton(notes), who is 26 years old, kicks things off by being slow to react to the first step of 34-year-old Chauncey Billups(notes). He then chases the Nuggets point guard, who's shooting 34.2 percent from the field and 29.2 percent from 3-point range on the season, around a Williams screen 24 feet away from the hoop; by the time he orbits "The Landlord," the play's basically over. That's because Amar'e Stoudemire(notes), who thinks it'd be a pretty dope idea to perform a grand jete as he rotates defensively, bites like an unhinged Doberman on the mere rumor of a Chauncey pump-fake, which allows Billups to make an easy bounce pass and gives Williams a wide-open run to the rim.
Turiaf gamely tries to get up and alter Williams' shot, but when 6-foot-9 and 250 pounds is coming at you with a full head of steam, altering anything but your own mug is a pretty tall order. For his attempt at exerting defensive effort, Ronny gets banged on.
Next: Nene goes ham.
With Stoudemire and Danilo Gallinari(notes) under the rim, Carmelo Anthony(notes) grabs the loose ball and beats Landry Fields(notes) down the floor. Carmelo drives the middle, teases a shovel to Billups, then makes a sweet feed over his right shoulder to a trailing Nene. By the time Turiaf finds the ball off the misdirection, Nene's already elevating. That's ballgame.
A closer look at the devastation:
Oof. This photo combines my three least-favorite things: Hair-on-hair violence, Knicks getting dunked on, and beard-on-beard violence. Let's raise awareness of these awful things and increase the peace,
gang fellow peace-increasers.
- Ronny Turiaf