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Ball Don't Lie

Orlando radio station buys billboard counting down minutes left in Dwight Howard’s return to Orlando

Kelly Dwyer
Ball Don't Lie

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Burn. (Associated Press)

Dwight Howard and the Los Angeles Lakers play the Orlando Magic tonight – no, seriously, don’t click away I’m just as enervated at the thought of the pairing as you – and a local RnB station has decided to count the seconds until Dwight’s time in Amway Arena ends and the city of Orlando can be free of Howard – who you’ll recall was traded from Orlando to Los Angeles in August. Free of him, again.

(Yawns.)

[Also: NBA Power Rankings: No one can cool the Heat]

So they put up a billboard. That is, as Trey Kerby at The Basketball Jones put it, they put up an advertisement that “is basically telling you how much money you’re wasting per minute and exactly how soon your investment will become irrelevant,” but then again I’m giving the Power 95.3 guys (I’m betting it was you, Obie and L’il Shawn) a bit more pub, aren’t I?

It’s just fine if you’re already completely bored by this. Yes, Dwight Howard is going to get booed tonight. But anyone looking for a lit flare or team-issued complimentary foam middle fingers is going to be disappointed.

There are going to be boos – especially in player introductions, and just about every time he touches the ball. They’ll die down as the game moves along, though, as should our interest in a contest featuring a lottery participant and a team on the playoff fringe. No crowd of people can sustain hearty boos for the amount of time it takes to play a full NBA game. Not even Floridians.

And also, they’re just boos. You’ve heard them before. Hell, you can boo right now if you want to. Make it so Terry across the hall feels even worse about himself.

[Also: Dennis Rodman would like a sit-down with the new pope]

The clock will wind down to all zeros, and the teams will go their separate ways, Obie and L’il Shawn will change the billboard to some Chris Brown reference, and we’ll all be better for it. The Magic can laugh at the Lakers as they go out too early in this year’s postseason, or Laker fans can laugh last when Dwight helps them to their first title since 2010. Either way, we’ll all get through this endless, silly soap opera, a pointless pittance of a pitting between teams with combined records of 51-77.

(HT: TK @ TBJ.)

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