Marcin Gortat might need to calm down

Eric Freeman
December 21, 2010

It's a good time to be Marcin Gortat(notes). He still has his giant contract, but now he's escaped Dwight Howard's(notes) shadow and can get serious minutes with the size-deprived Suns. It's nice to collect a contract, but it's even better to earn it.

So Gortat is understandably awaiting his first game with Phoenix with baited breath ... and apparently some other things, too, according to teammate Vince Carter(notes). Here's what VC had to say during an interview with KTAR in Phoenix:

"Marc is a guy that's pumped up. Right before we walked up here, he was just so excited. This is his opportunity. [...] Now, [Gortat] is excited about the opportunity to get valuable playing time and really making a difference. ... I feel like his first game, boy, he might wet his pants 'cause he's going to be so excited."

That sound you hear is the cry of every single Phoenix Suns mop boy, now fearful for their lives. When they signed up for the job, they expected to deal with sweat and the occasional bit of blood, not the other stuff.

Still, there's good news for Gortat. In the post-"Billy Madison" era, pants-peeing has become an affliction to be celebrated rather than shamed. For instance, did you know that worldwide superstar Hugh Jackman suffers from regular pants-peeing episodes? And he hosted the Oscars!

So do whatever feels natural, Marcin. Sometimes there's only one way to show a new team how happy you are to be on its roster.

(Via ProBasketballTalk)