As the editor of a well-read basketball blog, I feel it is my duty to keep you up-to-date on all happenings regarding LeBron James'(notes) free agency. It's a big story and a burden that I am willing to bear. As such, I must present to you today's hilarious recruiting tool for LeBron James.
This one, my friends, is a good one. Michael Symon of "Iron Chef" fame — he made his name in Cleveland — has offered to come to James' house and cook dinner for him and his friends if he stays with the Cavaliers. He posted the offer in a letter on his Facebook page, so you know he's serious.
Dear LeBron, I first off would like to thank you for what you have done for the fine city of Cleveland. You have created a energy downtown that has not been seen in years and have allowed businesses to thrive beyond their wildest dreams. I know the decisions you have to make in the upcoming weeks will be difficult and I hope you follow your heart. I truly believe regardless of where you go championships will follow because you are just that damn good and that each city will embrace you (although not as much as Ctown..lol). As a fan of all sports I truly believe the greatest legends have built their status with one team (Emmit, Troy, Jeter, Magic, Bird, Brown, Russell..etc)...hell even MJ will only be remembered as a Bull. Regardless of what you decide I will always be a fan mainly because I know firsthand what a class act you are and would never fault someone who feels they are doing the best thing for their career and family. That being said I hope you choose to stay in Ctown with the Cavs so I can watch you finish what you started which is something not many people get to do. Best of luck, MS
PS...I've never really been one to beg or bribe but if you do choose to stay I'll come over once a month to cook up a Iron Chef style dinner for your family and friends!!
Seems like a chill offer. Any time you can get a world-renowned chef in your house to make a meal, you should do whatever it takes to make it happen — even if that means signing a multi-million dollar contract to play basketball. We all have to sacrifice sometimes, and I think LeBron would be silly to hold on to his free-agency power instead of enjoying a delicious home-cooked meal. I'm not kidding when I say it'd be worth it.
To paraphrase an old saying, the way to a man's contract is through his stomach. Truer words have never been uttered.