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Ball Don't Lie

Kendrick Perkins sold a very cute dog on Twitter

Eric Freeman
Ball Don't Lie

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Kendrick Perkins is very disappointed in Rover for chewing his slipper (Rocky Widner/ Getty).

When the playoffs started back in April, Oklahoma City Thunder center Kendrick Perkins probably imagined he would currently be preparing for Game 7 of the NBA Finals, if not already basking in the glory of a title. That didn't work out for Perk and his teammates, of course, in part because of the season-ending knee injury suffered by Russell Westbrook in the first round. Yet, like anyone facing disappointment, Perkins has had to go on with his life. He is a man of many interests and needs, not just a basketball player.

So, on the night of the best NBA game in many years, Perk decided to sell a dog on Twitter. His first notice was short and to the point:

This is an enticing prospect. Sure, the dog is apparently unsafe for very small children, but any other family, couple, or individual without that mitigating factor could be in line for a great dog with some fancy technology built in. Plus, who wouldn't want to do Perk a favor? The bulldog is cheap, right? We're just helping you out?

That's a lot of money, Perk. Is there any way I can get a bargain?

Sure, this makes sense. eBay doesn't allow the sale of live creatures, which makes Twitter the next best option (other than several normal pet adoption channels). But no one will buy a four-figure dog sight unseen? What does he look like?

OK, this is an adorable dog. Check out this underbite!

Surely someone would pay for this dog. Any takers?

Gone? Like to a farm upstate? Um, is he at least going to get a home?

Phew, it looks like this nameless, very cute animal has found a new owner. Hopefully it's a good one. Although, you know, we probably can't know that, since Twitter is an unproven venue for vetting potential pet owners.

We can only guess who won the auction, but I imagine it was @Bballhoffman. "Straw Dogs" is about pets, yes?

(via Deadspin)

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