Last Wednesday, we shared with you NBA TV analyst Chris Webber's detailed dissection of a man's refusal to share his ice cream with his lady love at a less-than-thrilling game between the Indiana Pacers and Orlando Magic. The moment itself wasn't super great — c'mon, dog, share your ice cream — but the combination of the shock on the young lady's face as her dude declined her and Webber's amped-up, telestrator-deploying breakdown of the relationship faux pas made it a must-see clip that spread like wildfire online, making the "Ice Cream Couple" an unexpected viral hit.
In accordance with the Pwned/LOLFail Doctrine confirmed by the United Nations in 2008, which states that all viral sensations must make an appearance on a national broadcast network's morning show, the "Ice Cream Couple" — whose real names are Jake Moran and Georgia Arnett of Zionsville, Ind. — paid an electronic visit to ABC's "Good Morning America" on Monday to discuss how Internet stardom has changed their lives and what, exactly, Jake was thinking there:
"I didn't want her to have my ice cream," Moran told ABC's George Stephanopoulos.
Well, glad we got to the bottom of that.
Other breaking news from the ABC interview: Arnett admits to having had some butter pecan ice cream of her own outside of the camera frame (though she wants it clarified for the record that it was not a full bowl), this is something that happens in their relationship all the time but is rarely filmed, and they have a cute, small dog. Please update your files accordingly.
BUT DO NOT SAVE AND EXIT THOSE FILES JUST YET, FRIENDS. There's more, courtesy of this other interview with Indiana's FOX59 (which I would embed, but the video plays automatically, and I don't want you all to come murder me over a relentless bank ad or whatever).
"We were looking for Churros and we settled for ice cream," Arnett said. "I just wanted a little bite of mint chip, but I wasn't getting any apparently."
This is a problem that she will not encounter for another 365 days.
Upon hearing of Arnett's plight, Texas-based ice cream company Blue Bell came forward to offer her a year's supply of Blue Bell Ice Cream, absolutely free. (And yes, Blue Bell does make mint chocolate chip ice cream, the kind her boyfriend withheld from her during Pacers/Magic.) After receiving her bounty, Arnett immediately said she would be willing to share it with Moran, despite his admitted hoggishness. Ain't love grand?
Let this be a lesson to you, Dudes of The World: Refuse to share things with your girlfriends literally every time you are in public. Not only will nothing bad happen to you, but you will become a celebrity who has free things given to you. It is a brilliant, perfect plan whose brilliance is only surpassed by its perfection.
Hat-tip to Gawker.