Now that the made-for-TV craziness that is Jackie Christie has finally worn out its welcome on TV, the wife of the former Sacramento Kings guard Doug Christie is taking her talent for self-promotion and modern-as-tomorrow outlook on sexual mores to the big screen. The big screen in your hotel room that you discreetly order movies on and hope to have it show up on your bill as "French Dip, large fry, one Coke" and not "Coked-Up French Dippers, 12."
That's right, Doug and Jackie Christie are making a pornographic film. They're not going to be in front of the cameras, we should point out so that you don't immediately turn your computer monitors off, but the woman who famously didn't allow Doug to even look or speak with other women when Jackie was away will now be working with Doug to film (several, presumably) naked women in the hopes of keeping her name on the Z-list. Also, Dwight Howard really needs to be traded, real soon.
VH1's Basketball Wives: LA star Jackie Christie, wife of former NBA player Doug Christie, revealed in a radio interview today that she and her hubby would be producing porn.
"I'm producing an adult film, me and my husband Doug. We're executive producing and stuff," Jackie told radio host Rickey Smiley on his show.
While she didn't offer any further details neither Jackie nor Doug would be in front of the camera—all the acting roles would be played by porn stars.
You'll recall that during his playing career, Doug famously signaled to his wife dozens of times per game, which would be a touching show of mindfulness were it not paired with a series of other telling oddities that have even the most ardent of monogamy enthusiasts left queasy. Jackie reportedly was unhappy with female public relations workers, y'know, doing their job around her husband. To say nothing of female reporters or other team employees.
Doug reportedly doesn't look at any other women, which isn't so far-fetched once you consider that Jackie is either always an arm's length away, or that Jackie is continually dragging the couple in front of cameras in order to squeeze every last ounce out of a decade-old story that was essentially written to alternately make fun of Jackie Christie and worry about Doug.
It's well within the realm of the possible that Doug could be writing a big check to finance the production of such a film, and remain hands-off from then on out, never to see so much as a tossed-off three-inch heel along the way. And Jackie, the trusting sort that she is, would no doubt let the professionals in this very-professional industry do their work with her family's money as they see fit. After all, she's just the EP!
I suppose the old adage that every Hollywood hopeful bottoms out in the adult film industry is true. We didn't think you could get any lower than the go-to "star" of a sketchy reality show on VH1, but those Christies always seem to be one step ahead of us.
- Jackie Christie