If Dennis Rodman celebrated his 50th birthday in any other way, we'd be disappointed. The fact that he showed up to his litany of parties some 2 1/2 months after his actual birthday denotes either careful planning and attention to product placement, or the fact that he couldn't be roused out of bed from another party the night before long enough to celebrate his actual birthday party.
Either way, on Tuesday, D-Rod celebrated his 50th. And don't you worry, there was enough product placement for everyone.
Rodman and his group took over Chateau's Strip-side terrace and enjoyed Grey Goose and Red Bull in their private cabana overlooking the Bellagio Fountains. Rodman changed into a black-and-white houndstooth sport coat before jumping up on a banquette to dance with go-go dancers and make it rain dollar bills.
Rodman passed out cigars to partygoers and got on the mic, saying, "We're in Las Vegas! The only city in the world where you can do whatever you want." Before settling into his VIP cabana for the evening, he signed autographs and posed for photographs with fans.
His birthday meal of shrimp cocktails, chicken skewers, sliders, macaroni and cheese pops, New York strip steak, Black Angus filet and pan-roasted Pacific salmon was washed down with Sugar Factory's signature cocktail Berry Bliss and topped with a giant King Kong Sundae. Rodman signed a stack of Sugar Factory's dinner plates to give to fans.
Nicely done, Dennis.
My birthday is two days after yours, and my wife took me to an Elvis Costello concert that we couldn't afford, and I also missed the Chicago Bulls' best win of the season, but it was a fun time out. I also enjoyed two eight-dollar vodka gimlets.
What we now have to figure out next is the total caloric count fight between Dennis' birthday shindig and Khloe Kardashian's birthday from last month.
Toss out the vodka, all the sugar from those Red Bulls, the "Berry Bliss," and whatever the heck the (apparently, we're guessing, awesome) "macaroni and cheese pops" are. No, we need visual evidence for this. Dennis' "King Kong Sundae" is pictured above, but look at what Lamar Odom, Kris Humphries, and several Kardashians are working through:
Strawberries, no doubt dipped in something sweet at some point. Some sort of -- we're guessing -- alcoholic confection that looks like it was mixed with Ecto Cooler, with giant lollipop swizzlers dipped inside of it. A pinkish hue to whatever's in the champagne glass, which suggests that it is not just regular champagne, but STRAWBERRY MANGO CHAMPAGNE COOLIES WITH EXTRA TAURINE (or whatever the label on the giant can yells back in the service bar). Also, a smattering of sugar and saccharine packets. Just in case.
You make the call, America. No other country could.
(Top image courtesy of WireImage.)
- Dennis Rodman