Create-a-Caption: ‘And then you carry the one …’

"Oh, don't worry, Professor. I've played with Moochie Norris, the 38-year-old versions of Mark Jackson and Rod Strickland, Charlie Ward, Tyronn Lue and Rick Brunson. I definitely know how to carry the one!"

And then they laugh and laugh and laugh. Yao Ming has only been back in school for like a day, and he's already having the best four years of his life. Just wait until someone teaches him about pranking the dean.

Best caption wins homework, but the fun kind. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Derrick Williams displays a rookie-caliber head-covering game. Somewhere, Kobe Bryant is pointing and laughing while raising a barn and listening to Sade.

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Winner, Fanta Pants: David Kahn: "Your mission, Derrick, should you choose to accept it, is to underachieve at one of our four STARTING small-forward spots until I overpay you in the hope of looking like a genius if things turn around. This message will self destruct in five, four, three ..."

Runner-up, Russell S: Williams: "Remember Draft Night? When it was the T-Wolves' turn, I was like, 'I am not the 2nd pick you're looking for. You want to pick someone else.'' You know, Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi [EXPLETIVE] ..."

Other Dude: "But they picked you anyway."

Williams: "Yeah. Turns out David Kahn's a Star Trek fan."

Second runner-up, Robert C: Derrick Williams is in full superhero mode as he saves the three people behind him from having to witness the horrific scene on the field — Arizona trying to play football.