A portrait of the rookie as a stunned man. (Getty Images)
"Wait, they're not going to match? Carmelo said WHAT? Really? Wow. Huh. Well, OK, then. No, really, though? Like, for real? Wow. Didn't see that coming. Like, at all."
You are not alone there, Houston Rockets rookie forward Terrence Jones. Like, at all.
Best caption wins Monday's official soundtrack of Dan Devine. Good luck. (And good grief.)
In our last adventure: James Harden gets
by up with a little help from his friends.
James Harden just needs a hand. (Getty Images)Winner, The Coffee Machine: Looks like somebody finally found and rescued James Harden, who had been missing since the Western Conference Finals.
Runner-up, Mr. Jones: James Harden's beard has become so large that it has developed its own gravitational force that is six times that of a normal human being. He is day-to-day.
Second runner-up, Larry B.: James Harden tried drinking Budweiser with Larry Bird, and Budweiser is the strongest beer in the world.