Listen, Ray Allen, no one's mad at you for auditioning for "The X-Factor." It's a highly anticipated competition that is probably somehow not "American Idol", and the winner gets a $5 million prize, which would be pretty great for you to have because, well, "Meh." It's a low-risk, potentially-high-reward move. Very savvy. Very business-y. Very Ray Allen-y.
Now, choosing to sing "Wonderful Christmastime," on the other hand? Very ass-y. If there's one thing that Simon Cowell hates more than shirts that offer nipple modesty, it's kitty-litter-jingle-sounding holiday tunes. Everyone knows that. You blew it, man.
Best caption wins a far, far better Paul McCartney song (that would still be a terrible choice to sing for Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger). Good luck.
In our last adventure: Rudy Fernandez is a real magician with the ball. No, seriously. The dude knows the dark arts. He is like a Hogwarts-level warlock.
Runner-up, Thanatos: +1 Assist
+1 Fabulous Pose
NOTE: I choose to believe that this is a role-playing game joke.
Second runner-up, AlfredY: "Finally, a team that agreed to my single contractual demand: no defense. You see, people of Portland, I am much better when we play my way, as I have said all along."
- Simon Cowell
- Ray Allen
- Nicole Scherzinger