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Dan Devine

Create-a-Caption: Shane Battier is very dangerous in the air

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Granted, he didn't find the back of the net here, but trust me, Shane Battier's(notes) as skilled as they come when it's time to head in a corner or a cross. And he gets more than an eyebrow on the ball, I don't mind telling you. Real danger man, him.

Also, blooter. Cracking. A cynical challenge. A bit of simulation there. Boots. And, in conclusion, The Situatinho. SOCCER!

Best caption wins a reminder to be like Shane and use your noodle. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Steve Nash goes crowd surfing.

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Winner, Vaffanculo: Shades: "Just a few more drops of knee sweat and we can make our own Nash clone."

Ears: "You mean I wasn't supposed to be drinking out of this bottle?"

Runner-up, The Football God: After hitting 88 mph, Steve Nash(notes) suddenly appears in the middle of a game. Lenny Kravitz was present.

Second runner-up, give_and_go: Steve Nash saves the day when a Phoenix Suns fan tries to throw a wax-lined paper coffee cup in the new recycling bins in the US Airways Center. "It's wax-lined!" yelled Nash. "It goes in the compost!!!"


NOTE: In case you missed it and in the interest of offering context after the fact, here's what actually transpired in the Nash/fan situation during the third quarter of Monday night's game between the Suns and the New Jersey Nets, courtesy of the fine folks at BasketballFail:

Summing up quickly:

• Nice work on the fans-reaching-into-the-field-of-play context references, Suns announcers. Pulling up Steve Bartman (sort of) and Jeffrey Maier (not really) on the fly was pretty neat, even if you didn't get all the way there on either reference.

• Poor form forgetting about Lapo Elkann. Pretty weak, guys. Sadly, it's not uncommon — motherfathers ALWAYS act like they forgot about Lapo.

• Good job noting that the guy in the shades is "too cool for school." For the uninitiated, "too cool for school" means "probably not that cool and a little bit of a Creep Van Horn as a result of his face chewing Stubblicious gum and wearing sunglasses indoors." So, I agree.

• Way to integrate hot pop culture topics like "Jersey Shore" into the broadcast. That's right — bring viewers in, guys! Don't push them away. Some people think that a book commits suicide every time someone watches "Jersey Shore," but those people are jerks. America has spoken, and it wants Snooki references.

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