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Ball Don't Lie

Create-a-Caption: If only the Warriors’ new alternates provided more coverage

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Looking great, Jarrett Jack. (Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

Sure, the rest of us might be a bit skeptical about the whole "short sleeves on an NBA jersey" thing, but Jarrett Jack is mad that adidas didn't go far enough. Any chance we can hook the Golden State Warriors point guard up with a full-on bodysuit? Or maybe just a turtleneck. It's been well established that the turtleneck has enormous potential as a tactical garment, especially if your neck's cold.

Best caption wins neckwarming advice from Kevin Garnett. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Yao Ming just needs to grab a quick power nap, and then he'll be good to go.

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Yawn Ming. (Feng Li/Getty Images)

Winner, Justin: "Just throw the popcorn already."

Runner-up, John: "This bores me. Anyone up for a game of basketball?"

NOTE: Now you're thinking about Yao fresh dipped in purple velvet and wearing a cravat. You're welcome.

Second runner-up, Geoffrey: Take a hint, Mr. Crystal. Yao's not interested in the script for "My Giant 2."

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Quality Zinger on Us! Division, goes to S S, who blew me RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER: He's not tired, he just has a stack of "Ball Don't Lie" posts in front of him.

Congratulations, S S! You are the Mad Magazine of Borowitz Reports.

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