Listen, we get it, Littlest Utah Jazz Fan. Carlos Boozer's(notes) head can be intimidating and disconcerting when viewed at its normal size, let alone when it's comically overblown into a giant sign that evokes a retconned and rebooted Ego the Living Planet.
And while you're a purebred Jazzbo conditioned to be ticked at Booze's offseason bye-bye, when you see that mammoth lower lip jutting out just so — seriously, if you stare at it long enough, you can see it start to quiver, like a 'bout-to-cry Magic Eye — it throws your emotions all off-balance. I've been there; I feel you, baby. (Wait.)
Of course you're crying, young Jace Iverson, which is a pretty sweet name. Things are confusing and scary and hard to process. Hang in there, li'l shaver, and look at Kyrylo Fesenko(notes) for a while. That ought to dry those eyes and turn that frown upside down.
Best caption wins a lifetime supply of No More Tears shampoo. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Andre Miller is a staunch proponent of Thumbs Up Marbles.
Second runner-up, Russell S: Miller: "Yeah! I am the Trail Blazers' thumb-wrestling champion!"
Next day's headline in The Oregonian: "Blazers PG Miller out for season with torn hamstrings of both thumbs"
NOTE: While Portland's injury bug is a lofty ol' meme indeed, this merited inclusion if for no other reason than how much fun it is to think of the non-word "thumbhamstring."