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Dan Devine

Create-a-Caption: More sadness than the heart can bear

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Listen, we get it, Littlest Utah Jazz Fan. Carlos Boozer's(notes) head can be intimidating and disconcerting when viewed at its normal size, let alone when it's comically overblown into a giant sign that evokes a retconned and rebooted Ego the Living Planet.

And while you're a purebred Jazzbo conditioned to be ticked at Booze's offseason bye-bye, when you see that mammoth lower lip jutting out just so — seriously, if you stare at it long enough, you can see it start to quiver, like a 'bout-to-cry Magic Eye — it throws your emotions all off-balance. I've been there; I feel you, baby. (Wait.)

Of course you're crying, young Jace Iverson, which is a pretty sweet name. Things are confusing and scary and hard to process. Hang in there, li'l shaver, and look at Kyrylo Fesenko(notes) for a while. That ought to dry those eyes and turn that frown upside down.

Best caption wins a lifetime supply of No More Tears shampoo. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Andre Miller is a staunch proponent of Thumbs Up Marbles.

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Winner, Travis: "Up yours, Brandon Roy(notes). This Wesley Matthews(notes) guy is awesome."

Runner-up, Art: Andre Miller(notes) can hold up the border of this picture with only two thumbs. And he does it without fanfare or receiving the credit he deserves.

Second runner-up, Russell S: Miller: "Yeah! I am the Trail Blazers' thumb-wrestling champion!"

Next day's headline in The Oregonian: "Blazers PG Miller out for season with torn hamstrings of both thumbs"

NOTE: While Portland's injury bug is a lofty ol' meme indeed, this merited inclusion if for no other reason than how much fun it is to think of the non-word "thumbhamstring."

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