Create-a-Caption: Jason Kidd is crafty, incontinent

Dan Devine

I don't care how quickly or intensely you come on the double, Stephen Curry and Andris Biedrins — there's just no way that you're prepared to defend against someone pooping a basketball. I swear, Jason Kidd adds a new wrinkle every year. I shudder to think what tricks he'll have up his ... sleeve ... next season.

Best caption wins an increase in fiber intake and a steady early morning appointment. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Donte Greene is a rock. He is an i-i-i-island.


Winner, Mr: Musical Chairs Night wasn't a hit at all.

Runner-up, Vcsom: Donte, after saying a tearful goodbye to his teammates, then followed Francisco Garcia's instructions to close his eyes, tap his heels together three times and keep repeating, "There's no place like home."

Second runner-up, Jimmy: "nobody likes me here, i hate summer camp."

  • A Redskins Coach Exposed His Wiener To Fans When He Whipped It Out To Pee On The Sideline

    One Redskins coach, however, decided to go full Nick Novak and pee on the sideline during Washington’s game on Sunday against Detroit. Ben Kotwica, Washington’s special teams coordinator, grabbed a cup, walked away from the action, and went to the bathroom. If you’d like to see the uncensored picture, Deadspin has your back.

  • Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh says replay decision was the ‘worst call he’s ever seen’

    Jim Harbaugh has been known for using a bit of hyperbole from time to time but it sounds as though he was really, really, really upset at a call in the final few minutes of No. 2 Michigan’s 41-8 win over Illinois on Saturday. Wolverines quarterback John O’Korn had completed a third-and-nine pass to Drake Harris that officials had marked short of the first down by nearly two yards. Harbaugh quickly challenged the spot but Big Ten replay officials upheld the call to force a fourth down decision that was a little longer than it should have been according to the coach. “I’ve never seen a worse call in the game of football,” Harbaugh said at his Monday press conference. “My understanding of the rules

    NBC Sports: CollegeFootballTalk
  • Gilbert Arenas -- Here's My $111 Million NBA Contract ... Take a Look! (DOCUMENT)

    1 10/25/2016 12:40 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF Ever wonder what an $111 million NBA contract looks like? Well, here you go ... courtesy of Gilbert Arenas. The ex-NBA star filed the complete 2008 contract he signed with the Washington Wizards in his family law case ... a contract which was supposed to pay $111 mil over 6 years. As Arenas put it, "Amnesty kicked in" -- and the payouts were stretched over 8 years instead. His final installment will hit his bank account on Oct. 31st. Of course, Arenas -- who made more than $160 MIL during his career -- now says with no more NBA money coming in, he can't afford to keep his kids in private school. The contract spells out exactly how much Gilbert got paid every

  • JGR juggernaut’s toughest challenges could come from within

    TALLADEGA, Ala. — Car owner Joe Gibbs says it gets easier for his team now. Really. All four Joe Gibbs Racing cars advanced to the Round of 8 Sunday at Talladega Superspeedway. Never has an organization held half the remaining eight spots in the Chase since the elimination-style format debuted in 2014. “I think from here on out, it’s pretty easy,’’ Gibbs said of managing four teams as they race for a title. “Everybody is geared up and is going for a win. That’s the game plan.’’ In others words, it should be just like what it has been all season. “We compete hard,’’ Edwards said of racing teammates in the upcoming round. “We work hard beforehand to help each other prepare. We battle hard on the

    NASCAR Talk
  • Ryan Miller slams goaltending equipment criticism: 'I’m inside the rules'

    Vancouver Canucks netminder Ryan Miller still has hard feelings over how he has been portrayed in the debate over the size of goaltending equipment. Last season, TSN’s Ray Ferraro pointed out how Miller and Carey Price wear the same size pant even though Price is much heavier than the 168-pound Miller.

    Puck Daddy
  • MLS Decision Day: The big winners, big losers and the super duper extra loser

    FC Dallas won the Supporters’ Shield for the best regular-season record. There are 340 Major League Soccer games in the book this year, and at length, the playoffs can start. FC Dallas: After falling short on goal difference last year, FCD finally lifted its first Supporters’ Shield this year with a consistent and impressive campaign.

    FC Yahoo
  • Cubs Fan Hillary Clinton Railed in Hostile Ads During NLCS Game

    Hillary Clinton was among ecstatic fans celebrating Saturday night when the Chicago Cubs beat the Los Angeles Dodgers to advance to the World Series for the first time since 1945, breaking a decades-long curse. However, the appreciation between Clinton

    The Wrap
  • Wow! A.J. Green makes an unbelievable catch on a Hail Mary

    Hail Marys are always pretty cool, but Cincinnati Bengals receiver A.J. Green made one of the greatest catches you’ll see on one. At the end of the first half, Andy Dalton heaved one to the end zone. It was the same scrum in the end zone we’ve seen for most other Hail Mary throws, with everyone going up at once.

    Shutdown Corner
  • Golden girl Tina Maze quits skiing

    2-time Olympic champion Tina Maze is hanging up her race boots at 33 years of age. Christina Macfarlane meets the Slovenian star in Sölden, Austria.

  • Bagpipe Monday: Notre Dame’s Recruiting Problem

    The Notre Dame Fighting Irish have several big problems that need solved, but one that sticks out- that ALWAYS sticks out, has to do with recruiting. The problem with that statement is that it is a generality, and generally speaking, Notre Dame doesn’t have a recruiting problem. It certainly isn’t 2-5 against a soft schedule awful, so people’s case against coaching can probably be strengthened here, but there is a problem not seen in those rankings (which are generally viewed as weak by Notre Dame fans). Elite defensive linemen and safeties seem to look at Notre Dame’s virtually open positions (meaning: there is playing time to be had- lot’s of it) and run away with their hair on fire rather than attract these kids to Notre Dame.

    One Foot Down
  • How will DeAndre Hopkins perform in Denver?

    Yahoo Sports' Fantasy Football Live crew looks ahead to Monday night's meeting between the Houston Texans and Denver Broncos.

    Yahoo Sports Videos
  • Circuit of The Americas announces attendance record of 269,889

    AUSTIN, Texas – As the United States Grand Prix comes to a close here shortly, Circuit of The Americas has rebounded from the rain-drenched 2015 USGP weekend in the best way possible: with a new attendance record in its fifth year hosting the FIA Formula 1 World Championship. Buoyed in large part by last night’s Taylor Swift concert, but also with near perfect weather in Austin throughout the weekend helping the Saturday and Sunday crowd numbers in particular, track officials have announced a weekend total of 269,889 for the weekend. This marks a new overall announced weekend attendance record for COTA. In 2012, the track announced a total of 265,499 overall and 117,429 on Sunday. In 2013, a

  • Disastrous Break, Quadruple Bogey Derails PGA Tour Player's Chance at Win

    (c) 2016 Time Inc. Justin Thomas Defends Title at CIMB Classic Justin Thomas battled back from a four-shot deficit during the final round of the 2016 CIMB Classic at TPC Kuala Lampur to successfully defend his 2015 title.Anirban Lahiri had one of the

  • The Case of Mike Trout

    Before starting this, I will state the obvious. The Angels are not trading Trout, but they should. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are in the worst spot a team can be in; a full rebuild with the best player in baseball. That means they not only have terrible Major League talent, but also one of the worst farm systems in baseball. Their owner constantly interferes with management’s decisions and has a little too much faith in their 1 time WS champion manager: Mike Scioscia. Of course every Cardinal fan knows they deserve all the criticism they get because of the signing of Albert Pujols, which is considered one of the worst contracts in baseball. So before laying out the proposed trade, here

    Viva El Birdos
  • Three things we learned from Chelsea’s win vs. Man United

    LONDON — Chelsea beat Manchester United 4-0 on Sunday in an unhappy return to Stamford Bridge for Jose Mourinho. First half goals from Pedro and Gary Cahill set them on their way and then Eden Hazard and N'Golo Kante added gloss to the scoreline as United unraveled as Chelsea went into the top four. Here’s what we learned from a humbling afternoon for Mourinho back in west London. NIGHTMARE RETURN FOR MOURINHO “You’re not special anymore!” “You’re getting sacked in the morning!” “Who are ya? Who are ya?” Those were just sum of the chants directed at Manchester United’s manager Jose Mourinho on his first return to Chelsea since he was sacked last December. It was an incredibly uncomfortable afternoon

  • Dexter Fowler will have a special place in Cubs' World Series history

    Tucked into all the history that comes with the Chicago Cubs making their first World Series appearance since 1945 is one amazing fact that Dexter Fowler learned about not long after spraying champagne all over the clubhouse. When he leads off Game 1 of the 2016 World Series, Fowler is going to be the first African-American to play for the Chicago Cubs in the World Series. Robinson played his first game with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, two years after the Cubs lost in seven games to the Detroit Tigers in the 1945 World Series.

    Big League Stew
  • University of Alabama students are duking it out on Twitter about sitting during the national anthem

    Black students nationwide have been inspired by and joined the protest started by Colin Kaepernick of the National Football League in which people decline to stand during the national anthem before athletic contests. The protests continue to spread, and they are facing a backlash at some campuses. Some of the backlash consists of people making a case for standing for the anthem. But some of the backlash -- especially on social media -- is coming in the form of ugly comments directed against black students. At a football game at the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa on Saturday, a few dozen black students sat together and remained seated for the national anthem. (The football team at Alabama

    Business Insider
  • Don’t glare: Heritage Classic start time delayed

    It’s not a familiar situation for the NHL, but it has happened before: a weather delay for a hockey game. The Winnipeg Jets confirmed that the start time for their Heritage Classic game against the Edmonton Oilers has been delayed. The glare of the sun appears to be too much. At the moment, it is not yet known how severe the delay will be. Puck drop was originally scheduled for just after 3 p.m. ET. That’s a bummer, but at least it inspired a joke that would probably make Ilya Bryzgalov smile: Warm-ups were moved to 4 p.m. ET. PHT will keep you posted if there are any other changes.

  • Report: Yi Jianlian has asked for release, will be waived by Lakers

    On paper, Chinese center Yi Jianlian made a lot of sense for the Lakers, especially in Luke Walton’s system — he was the only floor spacing big on the roster. Watching Yi at the Olympics, it was easy to imagine it working out for him in the NBA this time around. In practice, he was struggling to find a consistent role with the team. He had averaged less than 11 minutes a game in the preseason, shooting 35 percent overall and 16.7 percent from three. His defense wasn’t good, and he remains a player who doesn’t exactly have a high motor. With Julius Randle, Larry Nance, Timofey Mozgov, and Tarik Black, Yi wasn’t finding a consistent niche. So he has asked out of his contract and the Lakers are

  • Ben Volin: Patriots didn’t run from Steelers’ defensive dare

    Bill Belichick spent all last week talking about the Steelers’ consistency, noting they have had a similar defensive scheme for the last quarter-century. Except the Blitzburg Steelers didn’t show up to Sunday’s game, a 27-16 road win for the Patriots. Instead, Mike Tomlin’s crew came armed with a game plan that was downright Belichickian. And it worked pretty well. The Steelers have played a 3-4 defensive front for as long as anyone can remember. Except on Sunday, they played almost exclusively a four-man front. The Steelers also have been known to play a lot of Cover 3, a zone defense with three deep defenders. On Sunday, they were primarily a Cover 2 team, looking a lot like the old Tampa Bay
  • Fifth USGP win draws Hamilton level with Schumacher’s record

    Lewis Hamilton drew level with Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher for the most United States Grand Prix victories by taking his fifth win on Sunday in Austin, Texas. He’s the third driver overall to do so, with Ayrton Senna having also won five times in the U.S. – albeit only two of them in the USGP title in Phoenix. He also won three Detroit Grands Prix from 1986 through 1988. Hamilton won his first grand prix on American soil back in 2007 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and had won three of the four races held at the Circuit of The Americas since 2012 heading into the Austin weekend. A perfect start saw Hamilton forge an early lead over Red Bull’s Daniel Ricciardo and Mercedes teammate Nico

  • Mets plan to slow-play market for Yoenis Cespedes

    The Mets want to bring back Yoenis Cespedes, "but they probably wouldn't chase him if he got an enormous long-term deal elsewhere," given his age and the streaky nature of his production, according to weekend report from's Buster Olney. According to multiple reports, Cespedes is expected to opt out of his three-year contract and become a free agent. There is mutual interest in having him return to the Mets. However, "There is no urgency," a source told Olney, who says the Mets are open to effectively updating his current deal with another opt-out clause. Cespedes has until three days after the end of the World Series to decide whether to opt out of his current contract with the Mets,'s

  • Report: Justin Turner and Kenley Jansen could return to the Dodgers in 2017

    With their 2016 season and 11-game playoff run in the books, the Dodgers are refocusing their attention on the upcoming 2017 season. Two outstanding performers, third baseman Justin Turner and right-handed closer Kenley Jansen, are on the cusp of free agency heading into the offseason. According to Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports, the Dodgers intend to make qualifying offers to both Turner and Jansen, but may not be prepared to go the distance to keep both of them on the 2017 roster. Turner finished his third season in Los Angeles with a .275/.339/.493 batting line and a career-best 27 home runs, riding a hot streak that made him one of the most productive players on the Dodgers’ squad this October. He

  • Jurgen Klopp on Liverpool title talk: “I don’t care”

    Jurgen Klopp isn’t having any of your title talk. After Liverpool beat West Bromwich Albion 2-1 on Saturday at Anfield and Arsenal, Tottenham, Manchester City and Manchester United all dropped points this weekend, plenty of people are talking up Liverpool’s chances of winning the Premier League title this season. With nine games of the season gone, Liverpool sit joint-top with Arsenal and Man City on 20 points with Chelsea and Tottenham just behind them on 19 points. It is tight at the top but whatever people are saying, Klop isn’t bothered. “I don’t care. It is normal in football that when you are in a good position people start talking a little more positive. I don’t recognize so much what

  • Tie Break Tens showed that tennis shouldn't be afraid to experiment

    “I was nervous,” Dominic Thiem said with a smile in Vienna on Sunday. “I knew I had to get off to a good start.” This is what happens, it seems, when you begin your race a few feet from the finish line. Fifteen minutes earlier, Thiem and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga had been tossed onto a court and told to play a 10-point breaker. No chance to get a service hold under their belts. No chance to shank a few shots or lose a few inconsequential points as they found their range. No second chances at all. Things proceeded so rapidly that Thiem and Tsonga had to be reminded to switch sides after six points. But this was exactly what the afternoon in Vienna was supposed to be about: the shock of the new, the different,