The media could ask Arron Afflalo whatever they wanted during the press conference introducing him as a member of the Orlando Magic; he, and he alone, would be asking the truly meaningful questions.
Best caption wins some important advice that Afflalo might find just as relevant today as it was 20 years ago. Good luck. (You'll need it, Arron.)
In our last adventure: Kevin Love remains on that sneak tip.
Winner, The Devil: "Oh, man, Vanessa is not going to like this!"
Not to worry, The Devil — the hug came after a win, so everything's copacetic on the home front.
Runner-up, George: Love (thinking): "I can fit in with these guys. OK. Let's not ruin this. I want to be just like Kobe; my left hand goes here. Oops, my right hand is too low. Awkward. Pull it together, Kevin."
Second runner-up, Donald M: Kevin Durant: "Hey, we should call our dance team 'Kevin Heaven.' ... Are you even listening? ... Stop looking at THEM. You're on my toes."
A Special Commendation in Ruling, Lance Blanks Appreciates This Division, goes to Matt, who gave us this disgusting gem: Kevin Love contemplates unleashing the "Wet Kevvy" by putting his still-damp mouthguard in LeBron's ear.
I hate every part of that, Matt. Strong work.