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Ball Don't Lie

Create-a-Caption: Derrick Williams, found-objects stealth ninja

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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You're stuck watching the University of Arizona's football team struggle its way to its seventh loss of the season, and because you are a famous recent export of the Wildcats' basketball program, you can't just skip out or blatantly ignore all the kicking-game shenanigans -- it would be poor form. But you really want to listen to that Huey Lewis playlist that your boy just shared with you on Spotify and just vibe out for a minute. How can you News it up without garnering suspicion that you're being untrue to your school?

The equation is simple, really. Discarded T-shirt over head + borrowed earbud + leftover wet nap from barbecue lunch + smartphone + confident look = "Stuck With You" listening in a heartbeat. It's not flashy, but all the same: Achievement unlocked.

Kudos to you, Derrick Williams. Fans of the Minnesota Timberwolves will surely appreciate your flair for problem-solving, should they ever get the opportunity to see you play an NBA basketball game.

Best caption wins a free one-year membership to Nick Foles in a Losing Effort, generously donated by our friends at The Solid Verbal. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Metta World Peace/Ron Artest is live and direct, waving his mic like a scepter.


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Winner, Roger Mason Jr. = Hero: "Guys, the first rule of life is, 'Don't throw beer.' In fact, those are rules 4, 5 and 12, as well."

Runner-up, Magic32: "What's the deal with this lockout? I mean, who lost the key? Is there a locksmith that we can call to get us back in the gym? I want to know. And how 'bout this airline food, huh?"

Second runner-up, Jones6: Winners: You'll know them you see them.

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