Create-a-Caption: Cool defense, Elton Brand

Getting simultaneously vertical and horizontal, straddling shoulders and inducing struggle faces. Textbook defense, Elton Brand. I'm glad to see that you are taking a leadership role in emphasizing the fundamentals to the rest of your Philadelphia 76ers teammates. You have to be fundamentally sound when grabbing groins. You just have to.

Best caption wins two shots and the ball. Good luck.

In our last adventure (ages ago, it was!): I know you loved it, but "Supermarket Sweep" has been off the air for like 10 years, Kendrick Perkins. You have to let it go.

Winner, Brad: "Is this a bad time to tell you that I don't have a microwave?"

Runner-up, The Football God: "Fifteen years from now, I'll be the Weight Watchers' spokesman."

Second runner-up, Scooter281: "Yeah, kid, those will definitely put some hair on your chin."

NOTE: Submission most effective as the set-up for the punchline delivered by Sean S.: "Yeah, kid, those will definitely put some chins on your chin."