Create-a-Caption: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned'

Dan Devine

I'm pretty sure that making a super stinkface isn't a sin, Avery Johnson, so I think you're in the clear. Also, you realize that referee Eric Dalen isn't a clergyman of any type, right? Even if he does have a little bit of Brian Cardinal to him? And that you're not at a prayer service, but are actually in the middle of coaching the New Jersey Nets during a basketball game against the Dallas Mavericks?

Oh, I get it — you're just asking for some intervention from the Big Guy Upstairs. Well, I'm sure he'll come through as soon as he's done throwing down some sweet jet-ski stunts.

Best caption wins the perfect antidote for a severe sourpuss like Avery's — a collection of happy face clip art. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Are you pondering what Nick Young is pondering?

Winner, JG: "I'm still trying to figure out who pooped in my shoes ... and why I'm still wearing them."

Runner-up, Mike: Nick Young(notes) demonstrates the Wizards' current standard for a defensive stance.

Second runner-up, Matt: "You know, if you look at it this way, it's not so much a posterization as a landscape."

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Fables/Foibles Division, goes to the great Unsilent Majority for this deep philosophical rumination: Nick Young wonders if Aesop was referring to off-ball defending when he wrote, "Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow."