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Ball Don't Lie

Chris Kaman announces his agreement with the Los Angeles Lakers with a Twitter flourish

Kelly Dwyer
Ball Don't Lie

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Chris Kaman, NBA basketball player (Getty Images)

After a long courtship, the Los Angeles Lakers have found their replacement for the departed Dwight Howard. The team agreed to use part of their mini-mid level exception on former Los Angeles Clippers, New Orleans and Dallas center Chris Kaman on Monday. An avid outdoorsman and super-avid Twitter user, Kaman ran inside long enough to toss out a series of tweets announcing his decision:

And in case you aren’t familiar with late 1980s hip-hop, old men or young children, here’s his official announcement:

Then the acknowledgement of the weirdness between the (delayed) Clipper-to-Laker jump:

And then the official start of “let’s bitch about bumper to bumper traffic on the 405”-season:

(They allow motorcycles to drive in between lanes, Chris. Keep an eye on your side-view mirrors.)

Laker fans were probably looking for more of a traditional defensive-minded big man to help Pau Gasol down low, or perhaps a shooter to help spread what was a crowded floor for the Lakers in 2012-13, but even in the days before the free agent moratorium ends there just aren't a lot of players out there along those lines to work with. And even though Dwight Howard’s departure aided the Lakers’ overall payroll, while potentially freeing up cap space for 2014, the team is still far over the salary cap once you consider Gasol and Kobe Bryant’s massive salaries.

This isn’t a bad fit, whether Kaman starts in tandem with Gasol or comes off the bench. In fact, it can be a great fit if Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni deigns to modify his system somewhat, and shifts Pau Gasol back into his more suitable role as a low-post initiator. Kaman gives of the impression of a low post scorer due to his burly frame, but his short arms prevent him from hitting the sort of jump hooks and turnaround jumpers that a healthy Gasol nails with regularity. I truly believe they can both start alongside each other, with Gasol as the power forward in name only and Chris as the center in name only. Kaman can pass and he can hit from the high post, and it’s possible that the Lakers offense could be a very pretty thing next year.

(At least in the days before Kobe comes back to start shooting 22 times a game again. Burn.)

Back in the 72 and sunny, Kaman can at least retire this getup:

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Chris Kaman, bear suit, buck. (Courtesy twitter.com/ChrisKaman)

(With that outfit, Kaman looks like he could fit right in living in Silver Lake. But trust me. He cannot.)

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