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Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C Past Lives: Stephon Marbury does not like being a photo editor

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Gotta get back in time ... Welcome to another edition of Create-a-Caption Past Lives. Frightened by that which you do not understand? Awwww. Buck up, chum, and don't lash out in a blind rage. Instead, go read the opening salvo in this epic saga and your fear will turn into mild indifference!

The next time someone asks you what being bored looks like, after you are done making the best face you can think of, point them toward this picture of Stephon Marbury joylessly serving as guest photo editor of Inside Stuff Magazine in the year 2000. (Also, re-evaluate your whole conversational situation if you find yourself having chats with people who don't know what being bored looks like.)

This is the Platonic form of "bored." This is the definition of "bored" you see in a really good dictionary, the kind that's thick enough to kill really big bugs. If you were playing some sort of Family Game Night contest and you had to make a rebus that would get your partner to shout out the name of the HBO show "Bored to Death," you would start with this picture of young Steph, and then you would probably use somebody flashing the peace sign and a skull and crossbones or something? I'm not good at rebii.

Actually, if you took a picture of your face after reading that last paragraph, it might give this picture of Starbury a run for its money. Oh, well. At least now you have options. You're welcome, everyone!

Best caption wins a pretty great Twitter conversation primarily about learning how to wield a sword, which is decidedly not boring. Good luck.

In our last adventure: J.J. Barea and Renaldo Balkman love each other very much and are extremely happy that their team won. (Surely you guys did better than that.)

{YSP:MORE}

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Winner, Matt: Balkman: "That's it — I'm taking my J.J. and going home!"

Barea: (gleefully squeals)

Runner-up, Russell S: What Renaldo Balkman didn't realize was that performing the Heimlich maneuver worked best when the choking person was facing AWAY from him ...

Second runner-up, E-Dub: Barea: "Hey, I can see my mom from up here!"

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Appropriate Responses Division, goes out to LanaeH, who commented thusly: "hahahahaha."

Thank you, LanaeH, for nailing it and making an addled C-a-C writer feel special all day long.

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