Dan Wetzel:

Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C: Gordon Hayward’s creepin’ into your mainframes, y’all

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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For the crime of writing a computer virus that crashed 1,507 computers in one day and singlehandedly caused a 7-point drop in the New York Stock Exchange, he was banned from owning or using a computer until his 18th birthday. But now, Utah Jazz swingman Gordon Hayward's sentence is up. It's time for Zero Cool to ride again.

Hack the planet, Gordo. Hack the planet.

Best caption wins Matthew Lillard's entire "Hackers" wardrobe. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Just a few gigs into his stand-up comedy career, critics are already calling Yao Ming "China's answer to Dat Phan." (Critics really hate Yao Ming's stand-up.)


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Winner, C: "And now / The end is near / My foot is broke / My knees are sore ..."

Runner-up, Jones6: "To the owner of a white Hyundai: You left your lights on. Thank you."

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