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C-a-C: DeAndre Jordan struggles through short-term memory loss

DeAndre Jordan: "You are not a basketball. Why am I holding you aloft beneath the rim?"

Child: "JE NE SAIS PAS JE SUIS JUSTE UN PETIT ENFANT."

Jordan: "Wow, I forgot you are French. Wow, I forgot I know French."

Navigating the lockout is a constant struggle when you are living with That Thing from "Memento." Courage, DeAndre.

Best caption wins instructional "Muzzy" tapes, like DeAndre doesn't remember using. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Marcus Banks is considering an offer to play in Lick-tenstein. (That will be 10 comedy dollars, please. I accept PayPal.)

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Winner, Grey Ghost: Marcus Banks enjoys making faces at his new Brian Cardinal action figure.

Runner-up, Kb: Banks: "How can I afford this? Because I've been making the NBA average salary the last few seasons even without playing more than 25 games a year. Thank you, NBPA."

NOTE: I think you meant to write, "Thank you, Phoenix Suns and Robert Sarver," since they're the ones who ACTUALLY SIGNED Banks to a five-year, $21 million contract in 2006 to back up Steve Nash. Like Clay Davis and most everybody else in the world, Marcus Banks will take any mother's father's money if he just GIVIN' it away.

Winner, Al: Things were cool with the "double dog dare," but Marcus fell for the "triple dare you." It was not a happy ending.