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Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C: You are so bad at groceries, Kendrick Perkins

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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I just wish there was some way to tell if Kendrick Perkins of the Oklahoma City Thunder is a hungry man. (Getty …

I mean, I am not an expert on the food guide pyramid or the My Plate healthy eating initiative, but I am pretty sure "eat, like, dozens of Hungry Man dinners all the time forever" isn't a sound nutritional plan, Kendrick Perkins. You are teaching this child all the wrong things to do, food-wise, and I am upset at it. Also, what is up with those ladies in the background just standing idly by and allowing this to continue? Clearly they know that this is NOT the food that growing boys need. Someone, please, step in!

Also also, are you yo-yo dieting, Kendrick? You can tell your ol' pal Dan. I am very proud of you for losing all that weight, but this isn't the kind of food plan that will keep it off. Here, try this. It's roasted Brussels sprouts. NO, FOR REAL, IT'S GOOD. Just try it, OK? Good. Now give me the Hungry Men. C'mon. Give 'em. There you go.

Best caption wins a terrible pro-vegetables bumper sticker (not really). Good luck.

NOTE: Also also also, this picture actually comes from quite a nice thing. An Oklahoma family won a shopping spree to stock up on groceries, courtesy of the Oklahoma City Thunder and Homeland Stores, and Perkins helped them shop. Big up yourselves, Perk, Thunder and Homeland stores.

In our last adventure: Al Horford and Larry Drew clearly like the cuts of one another's respective jibs. Some real strong Atlanta Haws jib-likin' right here, for sure.

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Whenever Larry Drew points a finger, just one comes back at him, and it is a nice one, surprisingly. (AP)

Winner, Eric: Hawks coach Larry Drew and forward Al Horford demonstrate a clear grasp of how many Hawks players will touch the ball on each key possession in the 4th quarter.

Runner-up, Al: After all these years Al still has not figured out the correct way to play rock, paper, scissors.

Second runner-up, Meowmeowmeow: Larry Drew and Al Horford anxiously await the result of the coin toss to see who will have to pay for Joe Johnson's next tank fill-up.

Special third runner-up, LaJames W: "First of all, I am not Lenny Wilkens."

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