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From the Marbles

Warped Wednesday: Gibbs and Hendrick can’t decide on public or private school for Keselowski

Nick Bromberg
From The Marbles

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Rick Hendrick and Joe Gibbs aren't photographed together very often. This is from 2005. (AP)

Welcome to Warped Wednesday. On this, we'll put out the rush to judgment mat, go a little too far and have a little fun. Will it be funny? Sometimes. Will it be crazy and largely unbelievable? Probably. Will not everyone get it? Definitely. That means this isn't real.

After Keselowski's comments about the hiring of former Ford team members by Hendrick Motorsports and Joe Gibbs Racing, Rick Hendrick said that Keselowski should begin "representing himself and the sport with more class."

In fact, Hendrick feels so strongly about his comments that he's going taking his comments and turning them to actions. Following a lengthy conversation with Joe Gibbs, who also issued a statement rebuking Keselowski's comments, Hendrick and Gibbs have decided that the only way for Keselowski to show more class is to go to more class.

Yes, you read that correctly, the two team owners are going to pay for college classes for Keselowski. However, while the principal idea was solidified and agreed upon almost immediately in their discussions, there remains a snag: they can't agree on if they'll send Keselowski to public or private school.

The offer of free college tuition to a rival NASCAR driver is unprecedented, but that's how passionate Hendrick and Gibbs are about their complementary released statements on Friday. Gibbs wants Keselowski to attend a private college like Davidson or Duke, while Hendrick likes the opportunities that would be afforded Keselowski at North Carolina or North Carolina State. If Keselowski had a choice, he'd choose Michigan, but Gibbs and Hendrick are unlikely to acquiesce to his preference. No matter what, Keselowski is anticipated to accept if an offer is ever directed his way.

There are virtually no limits on what Keselowski could study at school, just as long as he takes more classes. However, Warped Wednesday sources say that English Lit classes are being heavily discouraged, simply because Hendrick and Gibbs don't want Keselowski to start making Shakespearian references and metaphors for every happening in the garage, as they fear any Macbeth comparisons. That edict also includes any Romeo and Juliet mentions about Ricky Stenhouse Jr. and Danica Patrick.

However, the public and private divide threatens to derail the offer before it's officially unveiled via dual media releases. Since Hendrick and Gibbs can't come to an agreement and look unlikely to agree anytime soon, one idea is to have engine reliability determine the winner over the next five races. Sources claim Gibbs was very lukewarm to the idea before Sunday's race, but after seeing the performance of his team's Toyota issues and the white plume of smoke from Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s vehicle on Sunday, he's strongly considering the challenge.

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