Champions Week has begun in Las Vegas, and for a few days your favorite NASCAR drivers plunge into a world where they're both the bringers and the butts of jokes — you know, pretty much like every day around these parts.
The festivities kicked off with a version of "The Newlywed Game," hosted by none other than Bob Eubanks himself. Teammates (and occasional rivals) paired up to answer questions about the other, in often sick and twisted fashion. The teams were:
• Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman
• Carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth
• Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson
• Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch
• Brad Keselowski and Kurt Busch
• Kevin Harvick and Dale Earnhardt Jr.
The Stewart-Haas boys won the day by correctly picking what the other would say about them (follow that?). A few of the key one-liners:
• Kenseth said Edwards' most annoying habit was being late. "You're also late crossing the finish line," Eubanks added. Twist that knife!
• Who would Stewart bump out of the way on the last lap to win a race? Stewart said Brian Vickers, while Newman said ... Ryan Newman. (Kenseth added that he wouldn't bump Vickers to win a race, because "he probably wouldn't be leading.")
• What driver would the other drivers not let their daughters date? Gordon answered Hamlin, Newman answered Stewart, Kenseth killed with "Danica."
• Gordon and Johnson shot back and forth at each other, with Johnson mocking Gordon's onetime "cheesy mustache" and Gordon reminding everyone that Johnson shaved his legs in high school for swim meets.
• For the record, Ryan Newman can fart the alphabet. Just thought you'd like to know that.
• Kyle said Hamlin's haircut was straight from "Dumb and Dumber," while Hamlin shot back that you could get a really good laugh by watching Kyle "attempt to play any other sport."
• Whose wife or girlfriend would win a wet t-shirt contest? While Keselowski tried to answer with grace, Hamlin said, "just pick one of my girlfriends." ("I don't know their names," Keselowski said. "I don't either!" Hamlin replied.) Earnhardt offered up a nice one: "Do ex-wives count?"
Oh yeah, we're rolling now. More out of Vegas as it hits, including the Thursday burnouts on the Strip.