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Jimmie Johnson Avenue: The road to nowhere

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The El Cajon, Calif., City Council has done what no NASCAR driver has been able to do since 2005: take down Jimmie Johnson.

Here's the story. El Cajon, JJ's hometown, was planning to name a street after the four-time champ. Was all set to do it, too; conveniently enough, the spot was already named "Johnson Avenue," after Dr. Charles Johnson, an early pioneer of the area.

Descendants of Johnson — the pioneer, not the driver — protested the change, as did local business owners on the street, who didn't want to have to re-do their address info. Bad enough, right? But then city staffers uncovered another, bigger problem — seems that as of 2004, El Cajon can only name new streets after dead presidents.

Since Johnson is neither dead nor a president (yet), the issue became moot. The city is going to try naming something else after the Jimbot — a chunk of interstate, perhaps (which seems more appropriate), or a city park.

Still, Jimmie Johnson Avenue was supposed to be a quarter-mile-long stretch of asphalt, which seems far too short unless it's the bit of road that dead-ends at City Hall. That, of course, got us thinking: what would roads named after other NASCAR drivers look like? Well, I think they'd look a little like this ...

Kasey Kahne Way: A dirt road that leads to an on-ramp to Interstate 95.

Tony Stewart Circle: The stretch of asphalt that winds around a Burger King from drive-thru menu to window.

Jeff Gordon Avenue (2010 version): Runs smooth as velvet until you're within sight of your destination, then the road turns into chassis-shattering gravel.

Mark Martin Boulevard: Model T's traveled this road before you, and before them, stagecoaches. So show some respect!

I'm sure you can come up with a few more. The floor, friends, is yours.

Jimmie Johnson's hometown forced to drop plans to name street after him [NASCAR Examiner]

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