Look, we get it: sponsorship money is tough to come by these days in NASCAR. Sponsors hold all the cards, and teams and drivers have to hop to, behave, and generally boil themselves down into dull vanilla automatons in order to keep that sweet, sweet cash rolling in.
But this ... this is too much. Kyle Larson, who's good enough to drive at the Sprint Cup level but not old enough to have any kind of weight to throw around, has consented to this Cottonelle "Don't neglect your bum" campaign. What's it mean? Cottonelle makes both wet and dry toilet paper. "Bum" is a chippy British slang for, uh, tailpipe. And now we know more about Kyle Larson's bathroom habits than we ever needed to know about anyone's, including our own.
Only way this can be redeemed? If a subsequent ad reveals that there's an actual bum sleeping out back of Kyle's house that he's been neglecting. Short of that, we can declare this The Worst NASCAR Ad Ever. But, hey, anything for publicity, right? Poor Kyle.
- Kyle Larson