The item: NASCAR touch lamps, around $50 from Magic Touch Lamp.com.
The deal: Because nothing says class like a backlit, stained-glass Intimidator, we present these touch lamps. You know what a touch lamp is, right? When the concept of a "light switch" is too much to handle, you get one of these -- all you have to do is slap this thing anywhere on the base, and it turns on. (Just like your mom!)
Anyway, there are all kinds of models, from Dale Earnhardt Jr. to Kasey Kahne to Tony Stewart to Jeff Gordon to ... well, you get the idea. (One guess which one lights up brightest when you touch it.) Me, I simply cannot think of a better gift to get your NASCAR friend who's, let's say, getting married. Because what spouse wouldn't love the swankiness of a NASCAR touch lamp? That's the kind of style you can't bottle, friends!
The hat tip: Reader Nixiechick, who offered this assessment: "Tacky and functional!" If you've got some bizarre NASCARiana of your own to show us, send links and/or pics to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll make ya famous!