Jay's attempt at trying the Kasey Kahne last week inspired us to think of some other sponsor combinations that you can eat and/or drink because there's got to be a better combination than Red Bull and Budweiser, right?
The Clint Bowyer: Sick of putting boring old skim milk on your Cheerios every morning? Why not liven it up a bit and have a bowl of Cheerios and Jack Daniel's? And when you're looking for inspiration during night races, just trade out the water that you normally cook your Hamburger Helper in with a fifth of Jack. It'll make the lights seem so much brighter.
The David Gilliland: Here's the only non-Catholic on a Friday during Lent reason to go to Long John Silver's. Simply grab a package of M&Ms at the grocery store of your choice and in lieu of tartar sauce, add them to them to your fish sandwich.
The Kyle Busch: Here's another combination that includes M&Ms, but honestly, is your favorite Kellogg's cereal of choice plus those delicious candy coated chocolates any different than a mass marketed kids' cereal? Of course, if you paired them with a high-fiber cereal, some genius would try to market it as a healthy alternative to Count Chocula.
The Lake Speed: Remember Lake Speed and the no. 9 SPAM car? Well, Speed also drove the Purex car in the late 1980s, and a Purex marinade may be the only thing that makes SPAM tastes worse. Or, if you want to go with a Speed family theme, simply add Red Bull and you've got an instant party.
The Rusty Wallace: Many NASCAR fans have tried the Rusty Wallace and probably didn't know it. When you sit down to watch Saturday night's race at Bristol, simply grab a bottle of some good old Miller Genuine Draft and a pinch of Kodiak. Boom, instant Tennessean.
The Mark Martin: Boy, where do we begin. Martin drove the Folger's car back in the day, but that's no fun. Instead, go grab your nearest time machine and go find yourself a six pack of Stroh's Light. When you're done, chase it with some Viagra. And if you're feeling super adventerous, log on to your favorite GoDaddy hosted web site.
(Remember folks, we're not recommending that you try any of these, especially if they involve alcohol and you're under 21. There's a reason that we didn't talk about attempting the Matt Kenseth (a home improvement project involving DeWalt Power Tools while drinking Crown Royal). Leave the stupidity to the professionals)