Danica Patrick had better hope that the Super Bowl of motorsports goes a little better for her than the Super Bowl of, well, Super Bowls.
Patrick is the star of more Super Bowl commercials than any other human being in recorded history, at least according to sponsor Go Daddy, though we've got to figure the Budweiser Clydesdales outdo her if you're going across species. Anyway, Patrick's commercial for The Cloud, which you can view above, is currently ranked dead last in the USA Today/Facebook Ad Meter, 54th out of 54. And Patrick's other commercial, "Body Paint," is faring little better, ranking 51st. (The clubhouse leader is the Doritos slingshot-baby one, though I liked Doritos' murderous, body-hiding dog better.)
Anyway, what does this all mean? Not a whole lot in the grand scheme of things. After all, we're talking about her and Go Daddy, which is exactly what both parties want. And as M.I.A. showed with her middle finger at the halftime show, provocation can outstrip talent any day of the week.
Really, the only people who are the losers here are the people who think that ads should have a modicum of taste or wit behind them (is there anyone left who really believes that?) and the people who are tired of hearing about Danica Patrick. Sorry to say, friends, but she's here and she's not going away. For everyone's sake, let's hope she actually drives well enough to warrant all the coverage she'll be getting.
Less than three weeks to Daytona, folks. Not much longer now.
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- Danica Patrick
- Super Bowl commercials