Jimmie Johnson ventured into the unfamiliar (for NASCAR) terrain of The Colbert Report on Monday night, and acquitted himself and his sport quite well. If you're not familiar with Colbert, it can be an acquired taste, but remember: this is a comedy show.

A few notes: check Johnson's reaction when Colbert asks if "there's any doping" in NASCAR; you can almost see the word "Mayfield" flash across his forehead. And Johnson gives us the not-for-the-queasy reason why some drivers pour water on themselves in Victory Lane. Plus, check the move Johnson puts on Colbert to get him loose in the final turn of the office-chair race. Good stuff.

b1205pattieHey, news that doesn't involve ugly separations! In a confirmation of long-running rumors, Brian Pattie, former crew chief for Juan Pablo Montoya, will take over top-of-the-box duties for Clint Bowyer as both join Michael Waltrip Racing.

Bowyer will be driving the No. 15 Five-Hour Energy Toyota Camry. Pattie has won 18 times on the Nationwide circuit, and he guided Montoya to a Chase berth in 2009 and a Watkins Glen win in 2010. Plus, he was able to handle the radio presence of Montoya, hands-down one of the most critical drivers in Sprint Cup.

Bowyer, Pattie and Waltrip all had glowing words for each other in the press release announcing the hiring.

• Waltrip: "Brian is someone whose [sic] been on our radar for a very long time."

• Bowyer: "We both grew up working on dirt cars and have pretty similar backgrounds ... I think we speak the same language."

• Pattie: "I know how close [MWR] is to joining the upper echelon of the Sprint Cup series."

So nice to see team, driver and crew

No, there is no story other than Kurt Busch and Penske parting ways right now, and here's the latest twist: over at KurtBusch.com, which has already been stripped of anything resembling a Shell logo, Busch offers up an interesting little fireside chat about his separation (firing? quitting? mutually agreed parting?) from Penske Racing.

The video, which looks like it was shot while Busch was preparing for a Christmas card photo, is a little odd, to say the least. For one thing, it starts cold, with nothing other than Busch's name and signature to lead off. (Granted, intro music would have been strange, though I would have gone with either "Take This Job and Shove It" or "Bad Romance." Or maybe a Christmas carol. That would have been cool.)

Busch isn't quite looking at the camera, which gives the viewer the unsettling feeling that he's not really paying attention to us. And while he has the patented Kurt-Busch-in-sponsor-mode patter down, you can see cracks around the edges. Look at the

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Did Kurt Busch jump or was he pushed? In the end, it doesn't really matter; Busch is out at Penske, and that suddenly gives NASCAR that rarest of gems: an open seat in a Chase-level organization. (Albeit one without a crew chief, of course.) The question now from Penske's perspective is, who's in line for the seat? It's not going to go away, of course; business connections between Penske and Pennzoil will keep the car on the track. But since we assume there won't be ghost-riding, let's consider some candidates:

David Ragan: The Thrilla from Unadilla is getting the most early buzz as a replacement driver. He had one victory earlier this year, and was a bad restart away from possibly winning the Daytona 500.

Brian Vickers: Out of a job thanks to Red Bull's departure from the sport, Vickers brings undeniable talent but also, as recent weeks demonstrated, a few personality issues of his own.

[Related: Kurt Busch's future looks bleak after being ousted by Penkse Racing]

David Reutimann: On

UPDATE: 133442944Kurt Busch will not return to Penske Racing in 2012.

Monday morning, Busch released the following statement:

"Coming to a mutual agreement to go our separate ways is a positive step for me. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I took time to reflect on what is most important to me and realized I need to find a way to put the fun back into racing. It's time for a fresh start. Leaving a great organization and a lucrative contract is not easy, but it allows me to take a deep breath and work on things that can make me a better driver and a better person. 

"I recognize the passion and emotion that have helped me succeed on the track need to be better channeled off the track. The past few months I began working with a sports psychologist to help me better deal with my emotions, especially following moments of frustration during competition." 

On Sunday, the Charlotte Observer and That's Racin reported Busch had been fired.

From ThatsRacin.com:

Busch will not return next season to drive

12769553516-year-old Chase Elliott won Sunday's Snowball Derby late-model race in Pensacola, Florida.

Elliott became the youngest winner in the event's 44 year history. Last year, Camping World Truck Series driver Johanna Long won the race at age 18, becoming the second female drive to win.

His dad is former NASCAR star Bill Elliott. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville recorded 44 wins over the course of his 36 year Sprint Cup career.

Oh, and guess who has the development contract for Chase? Hendrick Motorsports. Chase signed a multi-year contract with the team in February. But because of NASCAR's age-limit, he won't be able to compete in any national NASCAR events until his 18th birthday.

Ross Kenseth, Matt Kenseth's son, finished third and Sprint Cup driver Landon Cassill finished fifth.

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Yes, the rumors and legends are true: Dale Earnhardt Jr. does have a girlfriend. He revealed her to the world Friday night at the Sprint Cup Championship banquet. (We think this is the big reveal; we don't really keep up with such things.)

For years, everybody figured this was one of those "she lives in Canada, you don't know her" kind of things, but hey, here she is. Her name is Amy Reimann, and you may recall that she and Earnhardt were the subject of some ugly National Enquirer rumors a year or so back. But they were all smiles at the banquet, so we'll raise a glass to the happy couple and hope for more news that's actually about, you know, racing sometime soon.

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The Sprint Cup Series' Champion's week came to an end on Friday night with the annual awards ceremony in Las Vegas. Well, officially, anyway. There's probably a handful of NASCAR-types still partying as you read this.

Didn't stay up for the banquet Friday night? No problem, we've got you covered.

• Speed led off its coverage with a red carpet special similar to a Hollywood awards show preview. The key takeaway? Yes, Amy, Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s girlfriend, is real.

• When Tony Stewart was introduced at the head table, Jimmie Johnson walked out — much to everyone's surprise — and feigned surprise that his name wasn't on the dinner card. That Jimmie, he sure is vanilla, eh?

• Host Reba McEntire was solid and got in a couple of zingers including this one:

"Earlier I was out front and saw Kyle Busch drive right past the valet," McEntire said. "Well, I guess NASCAR officials are only allowed to park his car."

(Busch wasn't an official honoree at the banquet as he finished outside the top 10