Welcome to the latest Happy Hour mailbag! You know how these work: You write us with your best rant/ joke/one-liner at email@example.com (note new address) or on Twitter at @jaybusbee, we respond to your messages, everyone goes away with a smile on their face.
So on Tuesday, I got caught in a 90-minute dead-stop traffic jam caused by a 20-car pileup on a highway near Atlanta. (Here's a brief news account.) And as I drove past the Talladega-esque wreckage, cars twisted into unrecognizable shapes and people sitting on the ground, shaken by the experience (thankfully, no serious injuries), I only had one thought: this was probably Vickers' fault. Also, no word on who got the Lucky Dog.
Now, to your letters. Last week, your assignment was to devise some new victory celebrations in the vein of Carl Edwards' flip. And oh, did you respond. Away we go...
Matt Kenseth would just fold his arms and yawn after a victory.
After winning a race, Jimmie Johnson could eat some vanilla ice cream because he is Mr. Vanilla.
— Dave Blakely
Simple. Effective. This is the vanilla ice cream of jokes.
If Brian Vickers ever wins again, he can wreck the other 42 cars during his victory lap.
— Daniel Biggins
• Joey Logano - Wait in his car for his Dad to get there and tell him what to do.
• Juan Pablo Montoya - Overcook his drive into Victory Circle taking out all of the equipment onstage and tell everyone it wasn't his fault that the equipment pinched down on him and left him no room.
• Any MWR driver - Go straight to their garage, close all the doors/block all view of the car, pretending their is a fire to distract everyone. Make the car legal, then go to victory circle.
• Danica Patrick - Now, I'm sure their wouldn't be a lot of complaints if she decided to moon all of her competitors, but NASCAR is family-oriented. So she hands out pacifiers to all the whiners.
— Dan Boren
Bay City, Texas