'The Ultimate Fighter' recap: Mitrione's not here to make friends

It's Wednesday night, and that can only mean one thing: the week is half over! Also, it means that "The Ultimate Fighter" is on. Huzzah! Last week, Darrill Schoonover got back at Quinton "Rampage" Jackson by beating his fighter, Zak Jensen. Marcus Jones, Matt Mitrione, Scott Junk and Mike Wessel still have to fight. Rashad Evans' team still has a shot at a sweep. Can they do it?

The show starts with Rampage and Rashad making fun of each other. So original! Tiki Ghosn continues to be the Ed McMahon to Rampage's Johnny Carson, laughing a bit too hard at Rampage's jokes, and repeating them at will. Then Rampage comes out with, "Gay-shad! Gay-shad Evans!"

Alright, this paragraph right here is for just for Rampage. If your name is not Rampage Jackson, you should skip to the next paragraph. Rampage, it's 2009. Let's stop with the stupidity. Calling someone gay as if that's a derogatory term is SO 1996. Cut it out. I'd tell you to grow up, but that ship has clearly sailed. At the very least, stay current with teasing trends.

Once they get through the stupidity, the fight is announced: Scott Junk vs. Matt Mitrione, which means the final fight will be Mike Wessel vs. Marcus Jones. Junk and Mitrione face off, and Junk doesn't actually put his hands up. He just keeps rocking back and forth. The Wessel/Jones faceoff is nearly as comical, as Jones towers over Wessel.

Hey, you're going to be shocked at what happens next -- Rampage and Rashad get in each other's face. Rashad tells Rampage, "I'm gonna make you quit, like you quit this competition, and I'm gonna make you quit in the fight." Rampage continues his, "I'm not a coach" BS until the two came really close to punching each other. All of this build-up leading to no fight only guarantees one thing: there is no way in hell I'm going to buy a ticket to see "The A-Team."

Mitrione really is not here to make friends

Back at the house, Junk says that Matt showed him a note saying Mike is afraid to fight Scott, but Mike is not afraid to fight anyone, darnit. Team Rashad is ticked at Matt for saying it. Does it sound like junior high? Because that's what it felt like. At practice, Rashad tells Matt to focus on what's important, namely, winning your own fight and growing up.

Junk is annoyed by Mitrione's game playing, and he's looking forward to fighting. Junk is the best, most experienced fighter on Rampage's team, so he probably has the best chance to win.

In Mitrione's never ending quest to be a jerk, he drinks Madsen's orange juice without asking, which prompts Madsen to say he's going to slap Mitrione in the face. At practice, Mitrione goes full out in a sparring session that is supposed to be light. He gets extra meatheaded by flipping out when Madsen walks away from the session. Rashad then puts together his most coach-like speech of the season, telling Mitrione:

"Have you fought yet? So why the [expletive] are you so concerned about what he says to you when he's on your [expletive] team when you haven't even fought yet? Please tell me! Why don't you save some of this [expletive] aggression for the fight you have in a few [expletive] days ... If you don't go out there, and you don't fight like this at your fight, I'm gonna [expletive] you up myself."

The good news for our own Zak Jensen is that the teasing in the house has moved from him to Mitrione. They made a new calendar, counting down to the day Mitrione cracks. Inexplicably, this leads to Wes Sims dressing up in a black gi, sneaking arond the house like a ninja, and jumping out of the bushes to scare Mitrione. Not shockingly, Mitrione doesn't take the teasing well, but he doesn't flip out again.

Despite all the team unity with Team Rashad, you get the feeling that Mitrione's teammates aren't cheering him on.

Matt Mitrione (Team Rashad) vs. Scott Junk (Team Rampage)

Round 1: Mitrione knocksJunk down early, but Junk gets back up. This happens again. And again. Mitrione clearly wants to avoid the ground, even when it looks like he could finish Junk by going to the ground. Mitrione easily avoidss a Junk takedown attempt, and Junk doesn't land many punches. Round one ends with Junk finally fighting back, and Dana White saying "Holy [expletive]." The fight must have been more impressive in person.

Round 2: Junk lands a few clean shots, but doesn't cause much damage. After a lot of trying, Junk gets a takedown and both fighters halfheartedly throw punches. The ref stands them up, and though Mitrione gets the better of the stand-up. They are both clearly exhausted.

"Those two stood in front of each other and threw bombs," Dana White says. Huh? Were we watching the same fight? I saw two exhausted guys praying for the bell to ring. Dana, that's not what you saw?

Mitrione is the winner, 19-19, 20-18 and 20-18. In case you were wondering, this is the episode where Rampage rips apart the door.