For the right amount of money, I'll do it.
I know, I know. You're thinking, wait, she's never fought an actual fight. Her record is 0-0. Her training consists of Muay Thai and boxing classes for about six months. The only time that she has taken a punch is when she fought that guy in sixth grade. She's a woman, and male-female match-ups aren't exactly the norm. She isn't even in Fedor's weight class.
This is all true. But I could put up as much of a fight as Tim Sylvia, who was taken out by Fedor in the first Affliction in a mere 36 seconds. I might not last as long as Andrei Arlovski, who stayed standing for more than three minutes, but for the right amount of zeroes on the paycheck, Fedor can feel free to knock me out.
I understand that Tom Atencio and his Affliction cohorts are going after more notable fighters like Vitor Belfort and Brett Rogers, but Tom, if you get to the bottom of that barrel and find no fighters, give me a call. I'm more than happy to step in.