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David Brown

Wrigley beer tosser surrenders, apologizes to Victorino, Cubs

The manhunt is over. There's no need to send a posse from Philly to arrest the evildoer who showered Shane Victorino(notes) with beer at Wrigley Field on Wednesday night. The prime suspect has surrendered to police, he has admitted his crime to the media and he has apologized. To everybody.

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The beer pitcher with better aim (allegedly) than anyone on the Cubs is a 21-year-old Chicago suburbanite named Johnny Macchione — as in, "Hey, buddy, you're a real Macchione for flinging your $12 beer at Victorino!"

In the video you've perhaps already started watching, Macchione calls himself "a lifelong Cubs fan" who made "a big mistake" and "disgraced" the Cubs, the team's fans, himself and his family by whipping his overpriced brew at Victorino in the middle of a fly ball to center field.

That's quite a grand slam of disgrace.

Macchione is not to be confused with meech.one, curator of the Fightins.com — though it's quite an unfortunate nomenclatural coincidence. Anyway, Macchione also apologized to Victorino, saying his own conduct was "nothing against him" personally.

He still faces a charge of battery (with a lager) and something called illegal conduct within a sports facility (there's a joke about the Cubs lineup in there somewhere). If convicted, he will gain street cred, which will make it easier to join a boy band, because he has that look. He also reminds me of Bud Bundy.

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