I swear this really happened in my kitchen: I was toasting bagels and I looked down and there it was: The Washington Nationals 'W' logo had appeared, made of delicious Philly cream cheese, on the disposable lid of the container. This was an organic happening, people. This was no Jose Canseco public relations guy doing a finger painting of baseball commissioner Bud Selig made to look like a dragon. I promise you, this is how the lid looked when I opened the container Wednesday morning.
This is my Jesus (or the Virgin Mary) on Toast. My Elvis in a potato chip. Abraham Lincoln on a cloud. A bunch of presidents on the side of a mountain. Is it because it's "1/3 less fat" than regular Philly cream cheese? Does Bryce Harper's haircut appear otherwise?
Can the Phillies-Nationals rivalry get any more ... supernatural? Does this mean the Nats are going to eat them for breakfast again in 2013?
Usually, I just throw out the protective plastic lid. It can't save me from salmonella anymore, I figure. Now, I'm going preserve it and sell it on eBay and retire to Hawaii with the profits.
What would you pay for dried-up Philly cream cheese that forms the Washington Nationals logo? Several dollars? Several more dollars? If the Nationals would like to contact me for public relations opportunities with the holy cream cheese — for example, a tour, or a Broadway show — please hit me up on Twitter at @answerdave.
Hurry, before the image of Jayson Werth's Beard appears in my shower drain! The price doubles for that.