9. Tropicana Field forgot to pay cable bill.
8. Aunt Bea from "Andy Griffith" takes up way too much bandwith.
7. Aging Ted Turner messing around in TV truck unnecessarily trying to colorize live programming that's already in color.
6. Careless minimum-wage security guards in charge of SuperStation on weekends.
5. Because so many "Frank TV" commercials were in the pipeline, the computers were confused into thinking it was 4:30 on Friday afternoon.
4. Hoping umps would delay the start of the game, Red Sox fan and CNN host Anderson Cooper sabotaged the broadcast because he knew he wouldn't get home in time to see the first pitch.
3. Schedule maker went to bed in the middle of the seventh on Thursday night, figured series was over.
2. Humane producer wanted to spare America from Chip Caray for just a little while longer.
1. Like Barack Obama plans to during the World Series, Harvey bought as much airtime as he could afford so people would be forced to watch his damn reruns.
- Steve Harvey
- Andy Griffith
- Ted Turner