9. "Blankin' Sawx. Two lousy world championships in the past five years. I'm turning in my season tickets tomorrow morning."
8. "Not even the filthy Yankees could choke on this lead. I'm outta here."
7. "Cover your heads for the perp walk, gents. You don't want to show up later on SportsCenter leavin'. You'll look like one of those blouse-wearin', poodle-walkin', bandwagon-jumpin' Tampa fans."
6. "Stu, for the last time. Nobody cares if that dirty Yankee Boone hit the homer off Wakefield five years ago tonight."
5. "Will yah walk fastah, mawwm? C'mon!"
4. "Son, it's not 'giving up' when you have no hope."
3. "I'll be dipped. I really thought the papers were kidding when they said there was a baseball team in Tampa Bay."
2. "Ow! Hey, that came from the Red Sox bullpen! Papelbon!"
1. No, it's OK! I left in the top of the seventh of Game 4 against the Yanks in '04, too. This is but the first step in the second-biggest comeback in major league playoff history! You're going to thank me later!