ESPN reporter Pedro Gomez, known chiefly for tailing Barry Bonds during the Hank Aaron home run chase, bears a striking resemblance to American Idol's Taylor Hicks, Barack Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and a certain fine Corinthian leather salesman.
Since he also served time as a baseball writer, Gomez is among the Hall of Fame electorate, and he cast a darned peculiar ballot this year.
Included on Pedro's choices for Cooperstown were Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice, who were elected, along with Andre Dawson and Lee Smith, both of whom elicit reasonable cases.
Oh, and he also voted for Jay Bell.
No Bert Blyleven? No Tim Raines? But Jay Bell?
Yes, that Jay Bell, regarded by Royals Review as the 100th Greatest Royal of All Time for his above-average '97 campaign.
Jay Bell, who finished only 1,037 hits short of 3,000.
Jay Bell, who narrowly missed 200 homers and 100 steals.
Jay Bell, whose OPS of .759 was three whole points above league average during his two-time All-Star career.
Pedro must have had some good reasons to be one of two voters to pick Bell on this year's ballot. They're just not apparent, unless one digs. Below we've listed the 10 most plausible criteria Gomez may have used in placing Bell on his Hall of Fame ballot:
10. The greatest sacrifice bunter of the '90s belongs in Cooperstown, dammit.
9. Confused Bell with Barry Larkin. Sorry, like it's the first time THAT ever happened.
8. Sparking a debate of "Which cap should he wear — Pirates or D'backs?" — was just too saucy to pass up.
7. Look, it's just the Hall of Fame. It's not like it's the greatest honor in the sport or anything.
6. Barry Bonds told him to do it and Pedro still owed him a solid.
5. Anyone who was traded for Bert Blyleven is a Hall of Famer in my book — "Anyone Who Was Traded for Bert Blyleven is Hall of Famer In My Book," by Pedro Gomez. Available now!
4. Whoever said you needed 2,000 hits to get into the Hall of Fame?
3. Mistakenly felt sorry for Bell, thinking he was tragically killed on a goodwill mission to earthquake-stricken Central America.
2. Pedro's white Mr. Roarke Suit makes him feel like handing out fantasies, and this is what Mr. Bell wanted, so...
1. Jay's fantastically metrosexual rimless glasses!